Simply Pec-tastic.

Okay, so this story is too much too handle. Seriously. Look at the title. Pec-tastic? Dear Lord Baby Jesus...

Okay, so I am on campus the other day walking from work to my class in a building that is about a seven minute walk.  I am wearing pants and if you know anything about Oklahoma lately, the state is on fire all the time and the daily temperature high hasn't been below 100 degrees in.. well, almost forever. SO pants, heat, long walks, and Kiyana do not mix well.

So, next thing I walk into the building, turn a sharp corner and hit a pec. You are probaly thinking, "What? She hit a pec?" and I would say, "Yes. a PEC. Like, on a man." 

Embarassing enough? HARDLY!

Next thing I do is look up. This happens to be a guy in my scholarship program at school. awkwardawkwardawkward.  He asks me when our next meeting is, and pull out my phone to look at the calender. I look at it and realize it was on the sixth... but the sixth is a Saturday? Then, the man with the pecs says, "I think your phone is set in 1972."



Of course, it is.  God bless.

I laugh, so hard. What else can I do after I violated the mans space and looked like I wanted to live in 1972? I just start apologizing because again, what do you do?

He just looks at me and I start to walk off to class and then turn, apologize one last time and he makes a comment that I seem frazzled.

......

Of course the normal response would be to say, "Oh yeah, I am just tired." and go about your way but could I do that?


I hope you are finding humor in these jokes today.


Of course not. I reply with "Yeah, I am pretty much like this all the time."  Which is definitely true, but at tghe same time I don't think you are supposed to want boys to know that.

What can you do?

We'll see, I guess!
AWKWARD.

Stud Muffin...

Stud Muffin?


Not self-explanatory, is it?
Good thing I am here!

To get this story, you have to get what I am talking about. If you are a Southern Baptist or live in Oklahoma, you probably know what Falls Creek is.  If not, I'll explain:
Falls Creek is a summer camp located in Davis, Oklahoma.  It is a small camp where thousands of kids go each summer to praise the Lord for everything he does, to ask for the forgiveness of their sins, to have a good time, and.. well.. to be honest, to find someone of the opposite gender to be their icee date for the night.  (This also needs to be explained.)  An icee date is when you take a person to the icee stand after evening tabernacle, you walk around the camp and then go back to your cabin for late night devotions.  Icee Dates have been around since my mom went to camp in Middle School, and more so beyond that.


Now that you have the "where" of my story, I can move on to the who.

Like I said again, stud muffin?

Well, at Falls Creek, in the afternoon I was walking by the icee stands looking for my younger sister who was also at Falls Creek that week. We were going to grab an icee, and after 10 minutes of hot, hot searching I decided that I should head back to the cabin. ( Ya know, to avoid intense sweating and stinky smells). I am walking back and a man stops me, Stud Muffin. He says, "Ma'am, I think you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen." Me and my sly words reply with, "Well, I like your shirt."

This is the shirt, so who wouldn't say that?  

(Granted, less muscles were underneath the shirt I was viewing...)

This statement is followed by a quizzical look and a "Thank you. Would you like to get an icee?"  

I replied with a "Sure, I have nothing better to do."

Now reader, before you think I am crazy rude, realize that I am MONDO awkward around men.  Awfully, awfully awkward. So me saying this is a cover for me to not say something more embarassing. Plus, Stud Muffin took it with a grain of salt so it was all right.

We get icee's and sit to talk for a while.  When I say talk, I mean I use my great listening skills to hear everything I would ever need to know about this guy.  As our time draws to a close, I say "Well, I should really be heading back. I need to get ready for tabernacle.  So, we head back to my cabin.  As I say my thanks for the icee and my good-bye he asks if we can go out later that night to grab an icee.  "I am not so sure, I think I have some small group things I need to take care of." Nice reply for me? YES!

Then, he brings in a new challenge... "Well, I would hate to never see you again."

Crap. Don't you get it? No, thank you!

"Well, we will work on that." This would be my happy response and I turn to walk inside.  Poor Stud Muffin walks away semi-upset but I figured he could find a new lady... wanting to wait on his every word.

I go inside, take a shower, get ready for service and come downstairs to find 10 Middle School Boys awaiting my presence.  Like guard dogs, they all run at me yelling, "Date John Michael, Date John Michael!"

"Who?" Is my response to that, like I said, really smooth.

"Ya know, Stud Muffin!"

"Oh Gosh. Wait, what? Why should I date him"?

"Well, Kiyana he explained the Holy Trinity and the Speed of Sound to us!"

Holy Trinity! "Well," I simply suggest, "Why dont you date him?"

My second puzzled look of the day and then one sticks his head out and asks if I would go out with Stud Muffin again, I said no and walked off.

Fast forward, later that night, I am in service and one of my girls in my small group gets incredibly sick so we get up to leave.  We then go back to the cabin to wait for the clinic to open back up after service. When it does, we call a golf cart load her on it and I get on the back to see none other than Stud Muffin looking at me sitting at our cabin. Now, my time for the puzzled look.  I send a brief wave and try to forget about the whole incident.  We get to the clinic, get my girl checked out, and get on our walk back to the cabin.  By this time, it is 10:30, and everyone must be in-cabin by 10:00.  As soon as I walk into our cabin, I hear news that I had a visitor waiting for me... all night.  That visitor? You guessed it, Stud Muffin!

Apparently, he waited from the end of tabernacle (8:35) to in-cabin time (10:00) Wow. When another adult leader went outside to talk to him, his response was, "I know I only have a 1 in 62 chance in seeing her, but I will sit on the off-chance of her return."

Oh Boy....

Hate to say it, and not to be rude, but glad I missed him.

I come home the next day to find a Facebook friend request. Can you say, no thanks. Not now, not ever on Facebook? 

No, you can't I checked.

Hopefully, this has entertained you and brightened your day! 

Sincerely,

AWKWARD.  

Sleepy Times call for Sleepy Measures

I have found that my awkward stories are often much too long to read.  The first (and maybe only) one short enough to post occured last week on Wednesday.  This is it, here we go!

I have a friend, we'll call him K, just for short.  I have known K since Middle School and he never ceases to make me laugh to say the least. He's very funny in his own way and can be...well.. different. K has been asking me to go out to do different things all summer, however, with a crazy work schedule it never goes quite as planned.  So when he offered to take me out for my birthday on Wednesday night, I did my best to make time.  We ended up deciding to go see the movie Zookeeper at 10:20 at a theatre about 20 minutes from home. 

Now, to understand the rest of my story, you have to understand K.  You know that friend that is always comfortable no matter the situation? He can make anyone laugh, but also enjoys watching the uncomfortability of others.  He's loud, strange, but you just can't help but love him!

Meet K. 

Story goes on, we arrive at the theatre about 10:25, being greeted by the only guy in the entire theatre (worker or patron).  He gives us our tickets, and we preceed to find our theatre.  Even though the movie was due to begin 5 minutes earlier, it had still not began until we walked in and the ticket man also started the film.  WE sat and K automatically put up the arm rest... 

Ya' catching my drift? This is K to a tee.
I basically deal with this until he decides to try and put his arm around me.  I give him the nice "Are you kidding me?" scream until he decides to move his arm but also can't help but laugh when he puts it around my shoulder agin three minutes later.

The movie finally begins and I don't know if you have seen it, but it was not so bad... well, from what I saw...




STOP! You're dirty mind won't get you anywhere with this blog. : )
I missed the movie because next thing I know, I see end credits after waking up from a GREAT nap!

Nap on a date? What?

Yeah, nap on a date. Or semi-date that is. All through the movie to the end credits.

Smooth for sure. Sure was an awkward ride home.

Well, until next time,

AWKWARD!

Yes, this is real life.

Can you prove God has an incredible sense of humor?

No? Well, I can.

About a week after I posted this site and decided to let you all ( and by you all, I clearly mean my only to-date follower, Bryce) read about the great and sometimes embarassing moments of my life, I nabbed a date with a gentlemen I had met on a volunteer day of service. He was nice, and we decided to go to the zoo.  We will keep it short for now and say this was not the time I had expected it to be.

I showed up to work at one of my job's that afternoon and began to tell my story of the date to a co-worker along with another story of another date-gone-bad. 

To understand this, you have to know I am a completely chaotic story teller.  This means more than just the use of hands to speak but rather the entire body... Let's just say I can get pretty into telling a good story.

So, shortly after I finish telling my story about an overly touchy date and a date where I look as if I am riding a horse that wasn't there, I finish my story and begin to walk around the bar side in the restaurant I work in while a guy, about age forty stops me. Our conversation follows:

Man: Ma'am, I have a question for you. 
Myself: All right Sir, what can I help you with? ( Imagining this is a question concerning his drink or food.)
Man: That story you were telling, about the guy, is that real life?
Myself: Why, yes.  Yes, that really happened to me. ( Slightly emabarassed that more than my desired audience heard my pathetic lack-of-love story.)
Man: Wow.  That's just great. Do things like this happen to you often?
Myself: Let's just say, way more often than I would like...
Man: Well, if I were to work for MTV, I have to say I would probably give you a TV show. You just can't make things like that up.
Myself: No sir, you sure can't. (Walking away, feeling slightly pathetic and laughing at the fact that that scenario really just occured.)


Awkward Enough? God, I do think you are funny. You can quit proving it.
So yes, this is real life. Like the man said, you can't make stuff like this up. Even a forty-something year old man can see that.



Wishing I knew a cooler way to say good-bye instead of just bye!
Awkward.

Well.. This is different.

Hello! Welcome to my blog, Awkward Enough. 

Reader, you are probably wondering "That's the best she can come up with?  Awkward Enough?"  Well, if you think that, you obviously do not know me. 

 I am a young lady, living in Oklahoma and after being inspired by another blogger and telling real life stories to too many folks who asked why I didn't write all of these down, I have decided to keep an on-line journal of sorts.

The stories I am referring to are those that are real life things that happen to me. Too often. 
To explain, I must let you know a fun fact about me.  I have never been kissed.  I have been on approximately one real-date in my life (among many others that I gladly call "half-dates").  This wouldn't be a problem for me and usually is not something I am in great concern over except for the fact that I am almost 20. While I usually view this as a blessing, the blessing is beginning to get a bit old. I mean really, what type of 20 year old doesn't want to ever be kissed? This is why the blog is titled Awkward Enough.  It is not because I haven't tried to be dated or kissed, it's because I am under the belief that I am just too awkward for these things to occur in my life.

So, now that you know a small piece of my life, I can eagerly share with you my lack of a dating life and hopefully, give some laughs along the way. 

I hope I remember to actually post in this, 
AWKWARD!